Dear Blog,

I can't believe Josh still doesn't like me...

Seriously though (that one was for the ladies, by the way [btw] just like that was for the teenagers who don't recognize the words by-the-way).

This is my official launch of a plan to end submission fees, because, what the fuck? Submission fees? Are you kidding, Mr. Festival sponsored by a bunch of corporations you want 15 bucks from me? That's my beer/heroine money, I need that to live and you want 15, 20, 25 (an extra 5!) just to watch my short film so that you can reject it from your festival anyway. I don't think so.

So, I've spent the last two months on withoutabox trying to submit some shorts to as many festivals as I can muster,
There is a section of the registration that asks if the festival has granted you a fee waiver, to which I have been replying, "yes".
Of course, they haven't actually granted me anything. This, my friends, is what I like to call a *tooling-lie*. It's a lie that is working for the greater good, as we shall see...
*side note* not to be confused with the white lie. Ain't nothin' white about me OR the lie.

Next they sick their interrogators on me. Question after question, amounting to all of one question: "Who granted you the waiver?"
To which I reply: Myself.
Not a lie.

One more question before they let me go free again, it's obvious they have their suspicions, "Why?"
To which I reply: Because I'm a fucking poor wannabe filmmaker, are you an idiot?

Or something to that effect.

The response of those festivals who have caught on so far, has not been favourable, as exemplified below:

Hello!
Thank you so much for your interest in the Burbank International Film Festival. We would love to be able to accept your recent submission in foreign languge short but cannot at this time. We are ourslves a non-profit and please understand the volume of requests which we receive for fee waivers(...) We hope that you can understand that we cannot grant waivers to people who decide to give themselves one only.
Thank you again.
Burbank International Film Festival

OK, I admit I was shocked at the passive aggressive tone of the jerks at the Burbank International Film Festival as well, but that's nothing compared to...

Hello Hannah,
We are unable to provide any fee waivers for our tour. If you are unable to submit your film at this time please withdraw your submission. Our call for entries for the tour will be open until May 2009. There is still time if you find that you have room in your budget to enter at a later date.
Thank You
Best of Luck,
Scarlett
Founder/Executive Director

Scarlet is a bitch. What happened San Francisco? Huh? I thought you were all counter-culture and open about accepting creativity etc. etc.
Just another cash hole now, I see.

Then I heard form Serge:

Hi Hannah,
Your DVD was well received. I am sensitive to your financial constrains, but self-granted fee waiver are not accepted. This would be unfair to other equally deserving participants. Pay the submission fees by tomorrow to avoid WAB fee increase.

In creative partnership,
Serge

All I see is heartless threats.

There are more responses in this vein from various festivals, which prompts me to ask, what have we become?
Submission fees? Pretty sure that's Bureaucrat for "the ultimate low"

So, join with me! Fuck submission fees, and make art free.
(except for when people want to pay me.)

Love, Hannah
(currently stuck in Halifax)

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